The
beginning of a new school year presents to children many exciting
possibilities, social interaction with old friends, the potential to make new
friends, and many fun and inspiring learning opportunities. The beginning of a
new school year, however, provides opportunities for bullies to make life
difficult and miserable for kids, as well. What should parents do if they have
determined that their children are being harassed or bullied at school? How can
parents know when to step in to stop the bullying?
Dr. Meghan Salyers,
assistant professor at the University of North Dakota’s College of Education
and Human Development, suggests that parents and children should embark upon a
new school year with a positive attitude and expect the best from children,
teachers, and the administration. However, she recommends that they plan ahead
to prepare for the worst, and to do so, if possible, without their children
knowing it. They should think ahead and make an action plan for what they would
do if their children should become targets of bullies. Here are some strategies
parents can consider for their action plan:
· Parents first should
check with the school to determine what their bullying policy is. They should
also determine that, if bullying occurs in the school, what is the typical kind
of bullying that takes place.
· Parents must recognize
that they can’t prevent all bullying that may happen at the school and,
therefore, should choose their battles wisely.
·
Parents who think their children might be targeted by bullies
should talk to their children about what could happen. They then should discuss
with their children some ways to handle the harassment or bullying. My
anti-bullying book, The Bully and the
Booger Baby: A Cautionary Tale, though it is a fictional story about
bullying, it also offers researched strategies to help children deal with
bullies if they are targeted.
·
The first instance of bullying, unless it’s violent, parents might
want just to let it go.
·
If the bullying persists and if parents have assessed that the harassment
is something that their children cannot handle alone, then it’s time to step in
to help. Parents should provide their children with both physical and emotional
strategies to handle the problem. They should brainstorm with their children
about some statements that children can say to their bullies to stave off a
potentially threatening situation. My book The
Bully and the Booger Baby: A Cautionary Tale, provides child readers of the
book with some very effective things that they can say to their bullies that
may make them back off and leave them alone.
· Parents, if at all
possible, should not be tattletales. This could possibly be a negative threat
to their children’s social acceptance in school. However, if the empowerment
strategies with which parents have armed their children for protection from
bullies don’t work, then parents should find out where the bullying is
occurring. Then they should talk first to the teacher and the guidance
counselor. Parents might want to encourage the guidance counselor to work with
the teacher to help address the problem. The final step in the hierarchy would
be informing the principal, if necessary. Never talk to the teacher, counselor,
or the principal about the problem in front of any other children though. That
is imperative as this, too, could threaten their children’s social acceptance
and worsen the problem.
· Finally, parents should
stay informed about if and how the problem is being addressed. Parents should
keep open lines of communication with their children. Encourage them to talk
about how their day went without appearing to be giving them the third degree.
Parents needing strategies with which to empower
their children in the event of potential bullying can purchase The Bully and The Booger Baby: A Cautionary
Tale, in both paperback and eBook formats through Amazon and Barnes &Noble.
Image credit: PhotoBucket.com
