My
book, The Bully and the Booger Baby: A
Cautionary Tale, in addition to being a fictional story for children, also
presents helpful information for children, as well as parents and schools to
deal with bullying. One of the strategies presented in the non-fiction portion
of the book is the importance of self-confidence and self-esteem to better
ensure your child will be less likely to be targeted by a bully. I am offering
to my blog readers an excerpt from the book that addresses that strategy. After
the excerpt from The Bully and the Booger Baby: A Cautionary Tale,
you will find some strategies for parents to use to help build better
self-esteem and confidence in their children.
Excerpt from The
Bully and the Booger Baby: A Cautionary Tale:
Children who are confident and have better self-esteem are less apt to be targeted by bullies. Children, with their parents’ or teachers’ help, should try to maintain confidence and a more positive self-esteem. As former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” W.C. Fields’ words are even more relevant: “It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”
Children can bolster self-confidence by pursuing enjoyable activities that they do well. They should explore new interests in order to increase their talents and skills. Children should try to make new friendships with other children who have similar interests. They should participate in extracurricular activities, social clubs, after-school programs, church youth groups, or sports teams. Bolstering confidence, interests, and friendships will make a child or teen less of an inviting target for a bully.
To stave off a bully, a child should behave in a
confident manner by standing straight, holding his head up high, and, by all
means, making eye contact with the bully. He should remember to walk
confidently too. A bully will be far less likely to single out a child as a
target if he portrays self-confidence and positive self-esteem.
A
child or teen’s confidence should not be found in the form of any kind of
weapon. A child absolutely should not carry a gun or other weapon because,
doing so. will not make him any safer. Not only is it illegal for a child or
teen to carry a handgun, but guns escalate conflicts and dramatically increase
chances of being harmed.
How to Develop
Self-Esteem or Confidence in Children:
A Child’s self-esteem is his core beliefs about himself. A
child’s self-esteem is reflected in his or her actions. A child’s
self-confidence can vary from time to time, but a child’s pattern usually leans
toward a healthy or unhealthy view of himself. With healthy self-esteem, a child
is more likely to succeed in life. With self-confidence, a child is better
equipped to make friends, and less likely to be picked on by others.
Developing healthy self-esteem is a lifelong process, but
the foundation of self-esteem is established in childhood. A sound foundation
can better ensure a child can deal with difficult life issues as they are
encountered, including being a potential target of bullying. Parents have the
greatest influence on a child's belief about himself or herself. If you, as a
parent, let your child know that he or she belongs, is doing well at things he
or she tries, and is contributing can help him or her develop better
self-confidence.
Children sense that they belong by the way their parents
talk to them and act toward them. As parents, you should show and tell your
child that you love and care for him or her. Also, Children learn about how
well they are doing by how their parents react to their behavior. Offer praise
at least twice as often (or more) as you criticize.
Teach your children cooperation skills and how to work
with others. This can be done by
promoting cooperation within your family. To foster cooperation, give your
child some age-appropriate household responsibilities.
Promote, in your children a sense of belonging, learning, and contributing. If a
child feels as though he or she belongs, he or she is better prepared to participate
in learning new things. Learning makes a child feel confident in making
contributions; making contributions helps secure a feeling of belonging. Developing
healthy self-esteem is a process that continues throughout life and helps a
person act responsibly, cooperate well with others, and have the confidence to
try new things. In addition, such self-confidence is one way of better ensuring
your child will not be victimized by bullies.
Picture credit: Penny Mathews
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